just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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