His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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