around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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