Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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