I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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