My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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