And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
