I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
