not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
