Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
