WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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