Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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