Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
