Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
