"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
