Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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