I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
