you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
