I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
