soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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