This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
