Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
