I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
