his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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