My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
