i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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