I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
sex in a hospital.. check
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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