some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
