TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
