Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
