Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
