He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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