I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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