brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
stop calling my apartment porn island.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
