Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
