he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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