last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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