Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
