Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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