No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
