Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
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