If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
