when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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