Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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