help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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