i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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