Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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