How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
