so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my being single is dangerous.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
