After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
