Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Semen is not good for contacts.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
