sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
