I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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