how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
