I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
