woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
