It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
