it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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