operation have a gay friend backfired
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
