White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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